Do you think you are less than someone because other people are better than you in some way? Have you always been worried that people might be laughing at you from the back? These are some of the common issue among people who are ridden with inferiority complex. The main cause of inferiority complex or low self esteem is mostly due to being highly self conscious about yourself.
Higher self consciousness is again a result of over thinking about your less attractive traits; it could be about your looks, your appearance, your status or anything that makes you feel less worthy. This problem is not uncommon in children and it’s also pretty much prevalent in adults; although, the reason of feeling less may vary with the age group.
Kids who cannot afford cool toys or stylish outfit feel inferior in front of their peers who are more privileged. Whereas, in adults social status and income is the most common factor on the basis of which one’s value in the society is evaluated.
Frequently comparing yourself with others and feeling low about yourself for superficial things such as looks, status and income does not only affect your mental health but also you fail to appreciate the beauty of life you have got.
I dare to say with utmost confidence that whatever view you hold about yourself is not the truth, but just your perception. We only dwell in our perception and take it as the ultimate reality, whereas the actual reality is much more complex.
It’s a psychological fact that your views depend on what perception do you prefer to have. Hence, the ‘defects’ you see in yourself are not actually defects but your own perceptions regarding your quirks and uniqueness.
In reality, if you wish you are actually free to perceive your ‘defects’ as your strength and you will start feeling better. No one is stopping you from progressing other than yourself.
If others also hold the same low opinions about some of your characteristics then it’s not you but their perception is faulty and you should keep a safe distance from them for the sake of your mental health.
If after all you feel that your defects or imperfections are limiting your ability to unlock your full potential to achieve what you deserve, you can take it as an opportunity to grow and work on it or compensate it by enhancing your ‘strengths’. But the ultimate truth remains that there no such thing as strength or weakness as again it’s nothing but just our perceptions.
Now, you might have seen the other type of people who are so proud of their ‘accomplishments’ and they never lose a chance to brag about it. These people are living in another delusion. They think that world revolves around them and they have achieved most in their life.
These are the exact type of people who trigger self-doubt in people who are already so much self conscious about their mistakes and imperfections. But the truth is these accomplishments that they are so proud of do not hold any value unless the world also values it with the same respect.
The ‘accomplishments’ do not contain any value of its own, we ascribe value to things. In reality, things are inherently empty. Therefore, you don’t need to compare yourself with others and feel bad about yourself since others’ ‘accomplishments’ are also just a perception not the truth.
If one wishes, one can find faults in the most ‘perfect’ and ‘beautiful’ things and perfection in the “worst” and “ugliest”, as the old saying goes – “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!”
Here are some practical tips to build your confidence:
- Focus on your most valuable trait: Concentrate on your most appealing characteristics; are you more knowledgeable than others? Do you possess any extraordinary skill? Are you good at drawing than others or do you have a matured sixth sense and see events before they happen? Think about something that you are proud of and use it to your advantage whenever it is possible. Don’t miss an opportunity to showcase your skills or your extraordinary abilities. It will boost your confidence in public.
- Maintain eye contact while speaking with people: You should not to stare at others continuously to scare them out but try not to appear shy. Do try not to avoid eye contact or fidget; you can look here and there for a few seconds before making an eye contact again.
- Speak with confidence: Speak clearly and confidently with an audible voice so that people don’t have to ask you to repeat what you just said. Try to be as fluent as possible. Speak with an amicable tone and a smooth voice. If your voice is harsh and unclear there should be some exercises to make it better, search online.
- Maintain a good posture: Do not stoop while sitting or walking. Always keep your back straight and look ahead with chin up while walking. Do exercise daily to tighten your body. Do at least 30 push-ups daily to keep yourself fit. As your body gets healthy and fit you will automatically start feeling better about yourself since the mind and the body are connected and interdependent.
- Dress well: Never wear clothes that are loose and pale in color because it takes away energy and enthusiasm from you. Your clothes do not only influence your own mind but also the mind of others who see you in that dress. Nice looking clothes can brighten your mood and make your day, whereas clumsy and unattractive clothes can make you feel unattractive and loser.
- Be ambitious: Always set high aims in your life and try hard to achieve them. Your ambitions will play a major role in keeping you motivated and feel proud for chasing something big. Even if you don’t achieve some of your high-level goals, the process of following those transforms you into a stronger and a more matured person.
- Help others: When you assist someone solving a problem or passing through a tough situation you start to recognize some of your hidden strengths. It will make you feel better about yourself and build some confidence as you have proven yourself to be a responsible person.
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